Shit I Learned This Week (Some Weeks Back)

It’s Friday. And I’m excited as hell because I’ve been digging this site used for searching events called meetup. Thank fucking God because it helps me feel less of a creepy guy who pops out randomly every now and then at random times in random places. As I’m writing this (which has actually been over a month since I’m a lazy bum and haven’t touched this post in like forever), my throat is a bit sore. My head aches. A headache. I’m sick. I hate being sick.

Anyway, this week I’ve learned a little bit of stuff. Some bad, some good, but learning new stuff is always good.

Apparently, sleeping with your shirt off when you haven’t showered in days is a really, really bad idea. Don’t do it. The morning I woke up I scratched myself like mad hell and swore to take my hygiene seriously from then out and to never, ever turn off the AC when shit’s hot.

I showed my mom Pixar’s Up and she loved every bit of it. This is the first time she’s ever seen a Pixar film. She absolutely loves animated films. Never knew this.

I visited my dad’s office. It felt like I was spiked with LSD and was having a trip visiting Michael Scott’s office in The Office. US Version, of course.

TVTropes (the heroin for no-lifers) is for spoilers. Or nerds who have seen and read and experienced every single piece of entertainments that have ever existed in history.

Pink Floyd is fucking awesome and ahead of anyone’s time. Great for road trips, also.

Vangelis is awesome. Solar Fields is awesome. In fact, music is awesome.

Procrastination is pain for some people, nightmares and life-ruining for others. Productivity can come and go for some people like myself, but it never comes and will never come to those who have been a bitch to procrastination.

Buddhism is not only a philosophy, but in some places it’s also a religion. A bat-shit crazy one that only Christianity can compete. That costs money, time, effort and pancakes. Makes me wonder why religions still exist while science has become the way it is right now, with bizarre theories and proves and experiments far beyond hells or heavens. And yes this is personal.

Steve Buscemi is a firefighter. Thanks, /r/TodayILearned. And yes, Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of The Moon fucking rocks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Summer

Summer is a pain in the ass. And when you take that and mix it with the worst of what Southeast Asia has to offer, you get some Apocalypse Now-level kind of suffering. I was waiting for some friends today at a bus stop and what I experienced is now a vague distant memory I shouldn’t have in my head. It was like 10 in the morning. The sun looked nice, so nice that it gave me three fucking zits just for standing and drinking soda. One on my right elbow. Which is annoying. I looked at my gorgeous LG G2 and it read 10.21. It seemed that I picked the wrong day to go out for bowling; it was 42 Celsius degree, or 107 Fahrenheit for you folks who prefer the freedom unit. It sounded not so bad, but with a humidity of 100%, it was a horror.

Hours passed. I looked at my G2 once again after what seemed like a literal eternity, my heart skipped a beat. It read 10.35. We were supposed to meet at 11.15. Not good. The sun was more intense now that it was supposed to be noon and most sane people were sitting on their asses in a perfectly air-conditioned room biting their juicy burgers. Meanwhile there I was, standing there like a fucking idiot during the worst heatwave in the history of mankind waiting to go to a bowling game. I wanted to cry but couldn’t as I spent all of my liquid on my sweats. “Fucking hell!” I said out loud, and I rarely swear, as evident by my posts on this blog. 10.55. Then my phone’s battery died and I was literally Christopher Walken in Deer Hunter during the Russian Roulette scene. Joints didn’t help that they didn’t even have fans let alone AC.

Kids looked at me. And my orange lips, which were orange due to my soda I had three minutes prior. I suddenly had a strong resentment towards my life and my friend and bowling and John Goodman in Big Lebowski. Everything meant shit now that I had reached zen. Everything was beautiful. I could feel the moment I saw light for the first time after months of living inside my mother’s womb. I felt a sense of peace. A sense of mindfulness that has been forgotten by the busy world we’re living in. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. I THOUGHT TO MYSELF. OR DID SOMEONE ELSE DID THE THINKING FOR ME? I think I’d lived my whole life a couple of times before my friend finally showed up. At 11.30. Thank God bowling was a little bit better.

Shit That I Don’t Understand

It’s pretty damn crazy that I’ve gone years seeing all kinds of weird shit and yet have never said anything about them and nobody I’ve met has said anything about them either. Here is the big list of shits that I don’t understand somehow. I bet I’m not the only one.

Tattoos

One of the damn reasons why tattoos suck is that it hurts. It’s also painful and expensive to remove. 90% of them are cheesy and ugly, especially those with colors. I agree with Joe Rogan most of the times but not when it comes to tattooing. I find him very upsetting and intimidating when he has no shirt and his tats are showing; he looks like a bully. Well, he’s already a bully anyhow.

The Deal with Selfies

This one is a little bit personal. You see, every damn person that I’ve seen taking a selfies has some sort of a large group friends that they party with pretty much every night. Which reminds of whatever shitty life I’ve chosen for myself. But what makes it so gosh-darned frustrating is due to their constant need to upload their shitty photos to Facebook every couple of minutes or so. Though irrational jealousy and self-loathing aside, selfies are just up-close photos of your face taken with an overpriced smartphone that I can’t afford. The other day I learned that the word “selfie” was added to the official Oxford Dictionary. What the fuck kind of world am I living in?

Taking Sports Too Damn Seriously

I once witnessed some guy get into a brawl with some other guy because that some other guy said that Real Madrid was better than Barcelona in terms of defenses or some shit. It’s laughable that somehow a completely harmless activity such as watching football has become the joke that it is now. Sports aren’t your lives people. Grow up.

Why There Exist Irregular Verbs

English is pretty damn logical until it takes one minute for a foreign to learn that there exist something called irregular verbs and they have to learn them by heart. Just why the fuck do those verbs exist anyhow? Especially if not only they serve no goddamn point at all in making English a better language, but also DOWNGRADE the convenient aspect of it. Why the fuck is the past tense of cut is cut or past tense of put is put? Couldn’t they just be cutted and putted respectively, like any other regular verbs and make the world more of a happy place?

Why People Are Obsessed Over Pulp Fiction

It’s just me, alright. I feel left out and it’s not funny. Everyone I’ve encountered, from die-hard film buffs to the Average Joe who only watches shits like Frozen worships Pulp Fiction. Some people have seen it like a Graham’s Number of times and know every single line. I watched it once and I just want to say, it’s mediocre at best. Though Roger Ebert gave it a 4/4, so I must be the uncultured swine here.

Why Most People Have A Fetish For Sushi

Sushi is cool. But not if you keep mentioning every god damn ten seconds while we’re sitting in a restaurant and the food is not out yet. While we’re at it, I’d add also pizza. And bacon. Delicious and overrated.

Why Someone Would Go Out When It’s Like 100 Degree (F and/or C) Outside

I feel like such a mentally stable human being after witnessing some of my friends who would go outside when the weather is hot; but unlike any normal “hot weather” days. Like, 100 degree hot. Those bunch of psychos go out and “enjoy” bathing in sweat while instead they could stay inside enjoying a good Netflix original in a perfectly air-conditioned room. God I’m a wimp.

Why Wait But Why Isn’t A Thing

There’s a site that more or less has a big influence on my writing style I’ve been obsessed with. It’s called Wait But Why. It’s literally the best thing that has ever happened to me and to everyone who has read, re-read and enjoyed the shit out of Tim Urban’s mind-blowing, funny-as-fuck articles on Artificial Intelligence and How Un-Cute Bugs Are. Worth a check.

Why Some People Can Pick Up A Programming Language In Like Two Days And Still Better Than Me Who Has Been Attemping To

Once in a while I feel like missing out when all of my friends know how to code and I don’t. Every single time I’d again go through the Hand-Holding Phase for like a week. During that week I’d feel edgy as fuck like one of those hackers movies portray after reading some code that I wrote, which is mostly like the most basic stuff any 12-year-old script kiddie could churn out. I’d curl into a ball realizing I’ll never be this guy, who wrote the whole god-damn RollerCoaster Tycoon game that I tried to play but it was too god-damn complicated, all by himself back in the 90s. In Assembly. The Codecademy/CodeSchool/LearnPythonTheHardWay tab is automatically closed, and the cycle repeats every few months.